I'm not an early riser. I covet a good night's sleep, and I've been known to hit the snooze for an hour before feeling awake enough to get out of bed. So when I woke at 4:30 a.m. this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, I wondered what was up?
I often told God if he wanted to meet with me, He'd have to wake me up. I mean in a wide awake, after some caffeine, I'm ready to take on the world awake. Ten minutes later my four year old daughter climbed in bed with me. After an hour and a half of willing myself back to sleep, I was still wide awake.
I can probably count on one hand how often I've gotten up before my four kids in the last five years. Though I long for time alone, to read my Bible and rest in the stillness of a quiet home, sleep has always been a priority. But this morning I wasn't sleepy, and it was easy to get out of bed.
I crept down the stairs, started some coffee and a load of laundry. I even had the time to mix up a breakfast omelet and feed the pup. Proverbs 31 woman move on over! Then I got my Bible and went out on the patio to spend some long awaited quiet time, just me, God and the puppy.
I opened to a devotional entitled, Learning to Wait on God: Trust. The passage that went with the devotional was about Daniel and how he trusted God to save him from the lion's den. I can't fathom what went through Daniel's mind as he sat all night surrounded by a bunch of hungry lions. Did he sleep soundly or was he too afraid to sleep? Was he restless or did the peace of God overshadow him? One thing is certain, Daniel had to be patient. He had to wait on God and trust Him for deliverance.
I've been learning to wait on God as well.
My writing career isn't where I want it to be and homeschooling my four children is a huge challenge. (To put it nicely) One I question on a weekly basis. I have reallyDanieldays, like Daniel's in the lion's den, where it seems I'm surrounded by others pulling and tearing at me from every side. I'm restless at times, and anxious to get out of my den, but my night is not over, yet. Just like Daniel had to be patient, so I too wait it out, not knowing when daylight will come or what it will bring.
The winds of change have been blowing through my home the last couple of years. I've caught the current, not knowing which way God would send me and most times not understanding where He's taken me. I am not a patient person. I don't like to wait. Maybe it's my New York Italian upbringing, maybe it's the society we live in when waiting for more than five minutes in a drive through becomes unacceptable.
Waiting is hard. So is trusting God. But Daniel survived the night and so will those who wait on the Lord. After 37 years, I'm beginning to understand that the waiting is all apart of the journey and without the journey, there can't be a final destination. Though I stumble along the way and have many scrapes and bruises to attest to my shortcomings, God is always there, picking me up, and guiding me back down the right path.
Maybe trusting isn't so hard after all. All I have to do is follow God's lead. How hard could that be? :)
It's got to be easier than fighting the wind current or waiting all night in a den of hungry lions.
Gina, at Portrait of a Writer...Interrupted, is founder of Writer...Interrupted and homeschooling mom to four high-spirited children. She writes about her experiences trying to balance it all. Her co-authored book , Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms was just leased and is available now for Christmas!